Early Behavioral Indicators of Dementia

There is a spectrum of behaviors that family members report when it comes to dementia. There's the genetic variant of Alzheimer's that hits relatively early in life and doesn't leave anyone unscathed. The most intelligent competent person in their forties can become completely dysfunctional in a very short few years. That's the worst case scenario and it is NOT the one most people came to me about when I worked for the Alzheimer's Association and Del Mar Caregiver Resource Center.

The more typical situation belonged to the people who became slowly more and more incapable of handling their daily lives, became increasingly more dependent on the people around them, and died usually from some other cause in their 70s or 80s. This is also the most difficult kind of dementia to diagnose and, frequently, no definitive diagnosis becomes available until the behaviors become so intolerable or frightening to someone else that there is no other recourse except to intervene.

People would come to me reporting all kinds of troubling behaviors before their loved one was willing to seek medical attention. "What does it mean when I see that my mother-in-law is letting the bills pile up?" "I went to visit my parents when I went on vacation and I could not believe the state of their refrigerator!" "My grandmother stays in her bathrobe all day and spends the day muttering to herself." "I popped in unexpectedly on my father the other day and found him sitting in his underwear in the dark! He said there was nothing the matter with what he was doing and to leave him alone. Is this the beginning of dementia? How do I know? What do I do?"

I'd do the best I could with the information I had but the truth is there are no hard and fast answers to these questions. And now that I live with some elderly people exhibiting a few of these behaviors themselves I know that my best thinking on the subject was probably wrong! Yikes!

Some people, all of us perhaps, lapse into lazy behaviors when no one is looking. At a certain age, you've probably heard people say, one of the perks is not caring what other people think. I think now that that combination, combined with a lack of desire to change things when family arrives, was behind most of the early behaviors worried family members used to report. That's not to say that these behaviors are not early indicators. They certainly are! But people with depression act the same way and elderly "eccentrics" who don't want to play social games anymore certainly do. Take these people to the doctor and you won't get a definitive diagnosis of any sort of dementia in the early stage. Unfortunately, study after study does tend to show that high levels of depression and social isolation are two of the key determining factors in whether a person develops the disease.  And that's the reason I wanted to write about this today.

Can you help a loved one who is depressed, feels cast off by society, alone and scared? Can you help someone who refuses to accept help? Sometimes you can help bring a lonely loved one back into the fold. Sometimes you have to let go of the outcome, extend a helping hand where it is allowed, and hope that it makes the quality of their lives (and yours) better as far as you're allowed to go.