How To Help A Lonely Elder

This info was written for people in Santa Cruz, CA but there's enough good suggestions here to help you find similar possibilities in your hometown, I'm sure:

Everyone feels lonely from time to time but the elderly are at a greater risk because most of their loneliness comes from long established habits combined with the loss of longtime friends and companions.

The key to breaking isolation is to very slowly and gently add activities that get the lonely person into the presence of others. In addition to extra contact from existing family and friends, start with activities that are easy to participate in such as church services or special interest classes. Senior centers offer a variety of activities especially geared towards seniors but Santa Cruz is also rich in adult education opportunities ranging from Parks and Recreation classes to community education courses at the University or Cabrillo College. If travel was always a source of pleasure try group tours or day trips. If the person enjoys reading try the public readings and book signings presented by local bookstores. If the person used to gain pleasure by caring for others (children or a spouse) consider volunteer opportunities with a social service agency or child care center. Even a part-time job can make a difference.

For very frail or housebound seniors, an adult day program that includes transportation and medical supervision might serve the purpose. (In Santa Cruz, try Elderday 458-3481 and Cindy's Celebrations 479-7509). If the person truly can't or won't leave the house, it is possible to arrange for a volunteer or paid companion to visit there. Try a Friendly Visitor program (427-5070) or Senior Companion (475-0816 ext. 10). Many others find that what they need most is to live with other people -- try assisted living or retirement communities or rent out a room to another senior citizen or college student (Senior Network Services Shared Housing Program 462-6788). In Santa Cruz it is even possible to try out having a housemate for a very short time by offering a room to a visiting professor or foreign exchange student for one semester or by providing space for a Shakespeare Santa Cruz performer for the summer. (458-3506)

Loneliness May Be Hazardous To Your Health

Social isolation and loneliness is a major contributing factor in all kinds of illnesses. A famous study exposed paid volunteers to a cold virus and then recorded how many actually came down with symptoms. It was found that those who described themselves as more lonely or isolated were far more likely to get sick. Other studies have shown that loneliness increases the risk of heart disease and cancer and reduces the life expectancy of those already diagnosed. A recent article in Science News reported that people who live alone are 50% more likely to develop dementia than others and that those who live alone and have no friends are 60% more at risk. It is my opinion that loneliness is probably more dangerous than smoking, lack of exercise and poor diet combined and there are some physicians who are beginning to agree.

Dr Dean Ornish became famous for his multi-faceted program for recovery from heart disease. It included a very strict diet, exercise, meditation and support group participation. He had tremendous results and assumed that the most important factors were the exercise and diet plans. However, his follow-up research did not bear this out. In his most recent book Love and Survival: The Scientific Basis for the Healing Power of Intimacy he writes that he is now convinced that, although diet and exercise is important to the success of his program, the single most effective factor seems to be the support group. People who feel loved and cared for thrive.

It is theorized that having only one strong social bond isn't as effective as having a variety of social relationships which is why a support group can be so effective. Strong family relationships or church and community ties are equally helpful. So my question to you all today is: how are your friendships and social ties? Is there a way they could be strengthened? Are there social activities you would like to try but keep putting off? Make social activity a priority and see how it affects your life. It's well worth the effort over time.

From my book The Spiritual Journey of Family Caregiving, available directly from me for $14.95 plus shipping.

More Food-Related Tidbits for Dementia Patients

Sugar and caffeine can contribute to agitation. If this is a problem for your patient try substituting decaf coffee or herbal tea and use a sugar substitute.

Does your loved one have incontinence or mild bladder dysfunction? Try eliminating citrus, caffeine and sugar. Remember chocolate contains caffeine! Try carob instead. (No, it doesn't taste the same but it's better than nothing.)

From The Spiritual Journey of Family Caregiving

Do You or Your Dementia Patient Snack on Crackers or Sugary Snacks All Day?

Be aware that overuse of sugar and sensitivity to wheat is extremely common and can create dementia-like symptoms in healthy people. Fatigue, fuzzy thinking, mild confusion, water retention, even arthritis can all be exacerbated by dependency on these products.

How do you tell if this is a problem for you or your patient? For two weeks try substituting potatoes, 100% rye bread, rice or other grains for bread and other products made with wheat including soy sauce. Eat more protein and vegetables and use a sugar substitute like stevia or give up sugar altogether for the same time period. If you don't have another health condition creating the symptoms and you are not allergic to anything else you should see a significant change within that period of time.

Be warned! This is not an easy task! Just like any other physical dependency, the body tends to crave the very substances making it sick. Not only that, sugar and wheat are everywhere in our society. Sugar includes honey, corn syrup, maltose, dextrose, maple syrup, jellies and jams, etc. Wheat is in almost everything made with flour. Still, if you find enough substitutes to satisfy the cravings, the increase in energy and clear thinking alone may be the worth the effort.

From The Spiritual Journey of Family Caregving. Buy it now directly from the author.

Is it possible to prevent Alzheimer's Disease and Reverse Early-Stage Memory Loss?

As soon as people find out what I do they often ask me what they can do to prevent Alzheimer's Disease and other brain-impairing illnesses. There are no definitive answers but in my work as a family consultant I've noticed a few trends.

Many of my clients tell me that their brain-impaired relative was "just fine" until they suffered some devastating emotional setback such as the death of a spouse or other close relative, a change of residence or community, or a forced retirement. Then, what used to look like normal aging blossomed into full-blown dementia.

Why is that? My boss at the Alzheimer's Association always used to say that the disease must have been present before, it just wasn't noticed because there was nothing to bring it to the family's attention. I think it is much more likely that the changes we associate with "normal" aging actually indicate accumulated damage from multiple causes and then emotional devastation delivers the final blow.

What are the multiple causes? We know that the brain depends on the proper utilization of amino acids to create the neurotransmitters we depend on for healthy brain functioning. In Alzheimer's Disease these neurotransmitters become scarce. However, things that disrupt amino acid metabolism are plentiful and well known.

First and foremost is nutrition and, in particular, how much protein a person eats and how well they metabolize it. Amino acids are found in protein sources like meat, chicken or fish and in adequate vegetarian combinations of beans and whole grains. In order to properly utilize these amino acids, however, a person needs to have adequate amounts of folic acid, B6, B12 and Vitamin C. The body breaks down the amino acids to create other compounds the body needs for various functions. If that does not happen properly in the case of the amino acid methionine, compounds that would otherwise be used to lower cholesterol are not made while a metabolite called homocysteine is created which is toxic in large amounts. High levels of homocysteine injure the arteries and encourages the formation of plaque. There also seems to be some correlation between high homocysteine levels and early stage Alzheimer's Disease.

Things that interfere with amino acid metabolism include not eating enough vegetables (the dark leafy kinds have folic acid in them), having an allergy or sensitivity to wheat or other foods, excessive exposure to pesticides and other environmental toxins, and long term exposure to mental stress and depression.

Things that help the body cope and recover from these things include:

* Adequate but not excessive protein consumption (remember, you need B vitamins and folic acid to metabolize the protein -- it takes a lot of spinach to make up for that Big Mac!)

* High dosages of folate, Vitamins B6 and B12

* Lots of lightly cooked fruits and vegetables

* If you have a wheat sensitivity (which is very common) give up bread, pasta, cookies and other wheat-containing products (I guarantee you'll lose weight!)

* Adequate fresh clean water

* Exercise and mental stimulation (don't watch TV all day!)

* Love and active engagement in life

I believe these last two items are most important. Even people who have already been diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease ward off the worst effects of the disease and maintain their ability to function longer if they are positively engaged in life than people who are clearly depressed and withdrawn. And sometimes -- I've seen it only a few times in five years of doing this work -- the symptoms of memory loss and confusion can go away almost completely when a person renews their ability to find joy and excitement in being alive and gets the care and attention it takes to make that happen.

The previous blog post is an excerpt from my book The Spiritual Journey of Family Caregiving available now directly from me for $14.95 plus shipping.